monday 4 – wednesday 6, berlin – staying at motel one near the office
notice a group of norwegian schoolchildren, mainly girls about 16/17
maybe anecdotal evidence but none were overweight, all well-behaved and pretty, or so it seemed

friday 8 – finished reading the book “touching the void” again by joe simpson
usual pizza and wine, this time without sabrina who is in chiemsee, laura is staying overnight with us
we watch the michael palin 80 days around the world dvd and have a reasonably early night

saturday 9 – worked out plan for digitizing the videos at last and happy about it, using 2 firms, del-fin and video-zu-dvd.

Sprinted round to get doner kebab for laura and eve, then posted the video8 cassettes to get digitised, a package to each of the firms
then sprinted to get BOB train with katie and she lets a decision percolate that we should do the walk from
lenggries to bad tolz which was a wonderful snowy, winter landscape, we pass about 20 people and say grüß gott to them all as they mainly said hallo

sunday 10 – taking younger ones, wished eve and franciska had joined us but they stayed on their own, since no one for the older group
went out for quick 5km sprint round the lakes

tuesday 12, frankfurt – went swimming in textorstr. baths and managed 52 lengths
finishing off some work and listening to MDR Figaro radio
couple of interesting programs – one about the deutsche jung philharmonie -. doing beethoven’s wellington victory and 70 years later tchaikovsky’s 1812, about the same event, plenty of british tunes in it
then a literature contest – leipzig book competition, 2 interesting books maybe to follow up
der winter tut die fische gut – austrian author about a textile worker made redundant at 47
chronart – a first novel by author – 900 pages about a search for self

wednesday 13, frankfurt – aschermittwoch (decided to give up beer for lent), it helped telling people and during the evening meal just had red wine after a glühwein and apfelwein
team event at landeshessen freilicht museum, very interesting presentation of various buildings depicting life in the last 3-400 years
was interesting to listen to the various interesting facts in those day and various redewendungen backgrounds:
– baked bread every 14 days, done in rotation by families in the one backhaus in the village
– open fires with smoke which rises and stops mice
– gardinenpredigt: comes from the telling off which a man usually gets before he is allowed to come behind the curtain and to bed with wife and rest of family
– albtraum: they slept in sitting position, since they thought if they laid down, der Alp would come and sit on their chest, affecting breathing and give them bad dreams: they would have an Alptraum
from the schoolroom it was interesting to learn:
– since 1817 there is schulpflicht in Germany, from 6 to 10 years.
– in some schools as many as 123 in one class, mixed with the 4 years
– 1st years on 1st row, to 4th row with 4th year children, child moves further back with each year
– if child had to repeat a year, sat in same place another year, “sitzen bleiben”
– schools were founded by churches and the teacher was typically a theologian, maybe also played organ in the church, got free accomodation and couple of animals per year
– teaching from november to march
the church:
– the oldest building, transported piece by piece from a village which had built it in 1634 (evanglisch, altho it was catholic looking in terms of pictures, but then people couldn’t always read, so pictures were better to explain events,
eg. the panels above the altar depict the annunciation, Jesus’ baptism, on the cross, resurrection and ascension)
– was in any case not allowed in catholic church to move a previously blessed/hallowed ground of a church, so the museum has no catholic churchs, all 4 are evangelisch
– unmarried women sat on front row, older women behind etc in a particular order
– older men at the back but most men went into the “Empor”, upper galerie which overlooks all the church, older men would be nearest the exit and at the furthest point, going round above the front of the altar
would be the younger/unmaried men who could enjoy looking at the unmarried girls who they were nearest to
– church was used 4 times a year

thursday 14 – listening to literatur im zug on channel 4 with Eva Demski (Rund wie der Erde)

friday 15 – worked at home
we get the usual brief appearances of eve and then she heads off to her room, has been like this for a couple of months, she is really becoming independent

satuday 16 – finishing off some work rather than building the trennwand which annoys katie but unfortunately have to finish something off
we go to alistair and jenny’s for a burns night supper, haggis, neeps and tatties, mild red wine and an amazing selection of whiskies

sunday 17 – have a chat with saby and we talk about drugs and alcohol, the whats app conversations seen about drug purchases
katie shows me something from her book (me before you, joey …) with the wonderful 4 way route to success:
– find something which makes you happy
– decide on what you want to do
– look and train for a job which combines the two
– work hard at it, since most people don’t like putting in the effort and you will succeed

sunday 24 – taking class, went ok, didn’t get stressed, kids sprawled across the tables towards me so something seemed to have been working.
then went to whiskey festival at MVG museum – finest-spirits.de with anitra, bill, john and graham, then met up with reiner and nico with mates

tuesday 26 – discussion class with kathrin schickinger, topic:
Angemessen Grenzen setzen in Beziehung & Kontakt schaffen
main points i learned were:
gleichwürdigkeit – seeing the child, listening to them, taking their concerns and opinions seriously
integrität – showing concern for me/looking after myself: when i say no to sthing, i say yes to me; recognising boundaries
authenticity and responsibility weren’t so relevant

how conflict arise in the field between:
integrity – my own personal desires and beliefs

cooperation – the demands of the situation or group

führung – comes in 3 phases during child’s life:
0-3: friendly and supportive
3: more setting the ground rules w/out damage
teens: more a sparring partner

for expressing a wish, best to:

i) describe the situation – simply from own perspective:
i see that the jacket is on the floor

ii) state what you want – again from own perspective:
i dont like it when the flat gets chaotic
i dont like it when i have to go round picking stuff up
i dont want to slip on it
i want a tidy hallway
etc
again personal / i language

iii) ask for what you want
please can you pick it up

then just go .. that is enough
or say going away + will gladly speak with them about something

mustn’t ignore .. have to take comments and feelings seriously

for teaching .. you have to build a personal connection to each child with eye contact and empathy!
(for adults teaching does not require this but for children it is important)

for building empathy in a particular situation: try meditating and concentrating on what you see in the child’s eyes at the time of the problem/streit
then also what you feel and how you could change this … going along the lines of byron katie

when giving a “no” or rule, might just have to say that this is simply because i have more experience/am older

for important decisions, in teenage years, have to involve the children and discuss it from their perspective, eg. what do they get out of the internet, how long do they need, when etc.
if decide to take a cut after an hour and you both agree, do that and then do something together